Intro: William: Why?

Violette: 'Cause it says... "homework".

William: I will break that camera.

Video begins:

Bill: He cut his finger with the chainsaw.

Violette: He cut his finger?!

Bill: Yes!

Violette: Just a little cut?

Bill: Yes, just go get your keys, we've got to take him to the hospital!

Violette: Hospital, for a cut?

Bill: Yes! 'Cause he cut his finger off!

Violette: CUT IT OFF!!??

Bill: Yes!

Violette: You just-

Bill: Hurry up!

Violette: I'm going to go get my keys!

Bill: Alright, hurry up, let's go!

Violette: Oh my gosh! (heavy breathing, walks up stairs) Oh my go-he better be the-oh my gosh. (moans, enters William's bedroom) Oh my gosh. (walks down stairs_ I've got to get out of here. No. Oh my gosh, I don't even know if my keys- (Walks outside) Where is he?!

Bill: He's over here, hurry up.

Violette: Will?

Bill: You've got your keys?

Violette: No! I don't have my keys!

Bill: Well you've got to go get them. We've got to get him to the hospital.

William: Get the keys!!!

Violette: Do you have a spare set? They're not in my purse.

William: I've got to go to the hospital.

Bill: Oh my God, what is your problem?

Violette: Why don't you have your keys?

William: NO!!!

Violette: William, let me see!

William: No, no, I can't pull it off, the blood will come out!

Violette: Get in the truck. Get in the truck. Let me get you in the truck.

William: Oh my God, (Incomprehendable)

Violette: Oh my gosh! Look at you! Get in the truck. Oh my gosh, get in the truck, William.

William: I-I-I can't-

Violette: I'm going to call 911 if you don't-


Violette: I'm going to call the pol- uhh, 911 if you don't get in the truck.

William: -my God!

Violette: Get in the truck, we've got to get out of here! (Gets into vehicle) Hurry up, Bill, hurry up! Hurry! (honks horn) Hurry up!

Bill: I'm coming, I'm coming. Oh my God.

Violette: Hurry up! (x4)

Bill: Freaking crazy. Let me find the keys.

Violette: William, how much of your finger is off?

Bill: He cut it. (engine starts)

Violette: Just a cut?

Bill: No! It's cut the finger off!

Violette: Oh my gosh!!! Where- Do you have the fi- where's your fi-

Bill: Do you got the finger, Will? You'll need it when you get to the hospital.

William: Yes!

Violette: Oh my gosh. (Bill sighs)

William: Just go!

Violette: Oh my gosh-

Bill: -Just keep it wrapped up, keep it wrapped up-


Violette: Get straight to the hospital!

Bill: I'm going. I'm going. Don't worry.

Violette: Get straight there.

William: Go!

Bill: I'm going, idiot!

Violette: Don't call him an idiot, he ha- he's ha- how did he cut his finger, by the way?!

Bill: Because he- chainsaw skipped and he cut his finger off!

Violette: Chainsaw?

Bill: Yes!

Violette: What were you doing playing with a chainsaw?-

Bill: -He was cutting some firewood.

Violette: Firewood, wha- what were you cutting firewood for?

Bill: Why do you think!!!

Violette: We don't have a chimney!

Bill: I sell it!!-

William: -He was going to sell it!

Bill: Idiot!

Violette: You let him handle a chainsaw?-

William: -(incomprehendable)

Bill: Yes!

Violette: You shouldn't let him handle one!-

Bill: Well, he's got to learn some time!

Violette: Like this?

Bill: Yes!


William: Go!


Bill: -I'm driving, idiot!

William: Take- take the faster route.

Violette: Call 911, I don't want to wait for the hospital! I don't want to wait!

Bill: Listen, I'm starving. I've got to get something to eat before we- I haven't eaten all day.

Violette: Oh, no! You better be kidding me.

Bill: No, I'm serious. I'm starving. (Violette starts talking) We'll get there, he's got it wrapped up!

Violette: We are not going to the- We are not getting something to eat. Screw this crap-

Bill: -I just want a couple Big Macs!

William: Why are you yelling?

Violette: Are you freaking serious?!


Violette: We are not going to the fucking hospital!

Bill: He's got it wrapped!

Violette: No!

William: My God...


Bill: Listen. Listen. He'll get there, I'm freaking hungry.

Violette: I am not going into McDonalds! I am not going to McDonald's! William, tell your dad you don't want to go to McDonald's.

Bill: Hold on, just hold on.

Violette: Tell your dad, you don't-

William: SHUT UP!

Violette: William. Tell your da- you're not going to McDonald's. I should have drove.


Bill: I just want a quick Big Mac, that's all I want!

Violette: You let everyone in the world see what a jerk you are, that you're actually going to get something to eat-

Bill: 'I've got to freaking eat, I'm star- I haven't eaten all day!

William: I can't handle this, stop yelling!

Violette: Get food at the hospital! William, William! (breathing heavy) Do you want me to climb back there with you?

Bill: Just keep it wrapped, Will. You'll be alright.

William: It is wrapped! Is there still blood?

Violette: You better not go to McDonald's on the way to the hospital.-

Bill: I'm going to McDonald's, I'm starving. I just need a bite.

Violette: What are you, a butthole?

Bill: Yes. I'm hungry.

Violette: You're a father- you don't go to McDonald's when someone's finger came off! Will- William, we're going to get you fixed, honey. Don't worry, Mommy will take care of you, baby.

William: It's not even that it hurts so bad, it just freak...

Violette: William, honey, just, just don't talk-

William: -I'm just so scared.

Violette: Honey, don't be scared. Mommy-

William: It's still bleeding.

Violette: Mommy will take ca- don't move it! Do-

William: -I'm putting freaking pressure on it.

Violette: William, oh my gosh. William, it looks like the bleeding is under control. It's drying up. Just don't move-

Bill: -Keep it wrapped!-

William: -My God...

Violette: Oh my gosh, you got it on your legs and everything! William!

William: Can you drive quicker?

Bill: I am, dingbat!

William: Don't call me a dingbat!

Violette: Don't call him a dingbat, he got his FINGER CUT OOOOFFF!!!-

William: I'm going to freaking bleed to death!

Violette: This is a freaking emergency! William- Don't you dare go and get food!

Bill: I'm freaking starving!

Violette: Don't you DARE go and get food! You're a jerk.

William: Come on, just go there!-

Violette: That would be incredibly selfish to go to McDonald's- You told him to go there?

William: No.

Violette: No. We're not going to McDonald's.


Violette: We are not going to McDonald's!

Bill: Yes, we are!

William: I can't handle this! Get there, go, go, go!

Violette: We are not going to McDonald's. We're not going to McDonald's.

Bill: Ok.

Violette: Thank you. Ok, we're not going to McDonald's. Don't move your finger, whatever you do. Don't move.-

William: -Can you tell me to stop shaking?

Violette: I can't tell you to stop shaking, honey. You're, you're probably in shock or something-

William: -Come on, go!

Violette: Get there. Just get there.-

Bill: -We'll get there, just keep it wrapped up-

William: -So all I have to do is keep- pressure?

Bill: Yes!

Violette: William, don't... Just don't move it, honey.

Bill: Now we've got a freaking red light.

William: God! Just go through the red light!

Bill: I can't!

Violette: We should have called an ambulance! (x2)

Bill: We'll get there. I'm faster than an ambulance.

Violette: No, you're not!

Bill: Yes, I am!

Violette: You're not, you have such a blown ego!

William: My finger's numb.

Bill: Just keep it wrapped.

Violette: William, just... Of course it's numb, it came off! (William says it's purple) Purple? It's not even purple, yeah, you can't even see that. Don't-

William: I looked through the towel!

Violette: William, don't move it. Please don't move it, honey. Don't move it.

Bill: Just keep it wrapped!

William: Where are you going?

Bill: I-I'm going to the hospital after I get a Big Mac.


Bill: -Yes I am, I'm hungry!

Violette: You jerk!

William: I'm a little hungry.

Violette: Are you serious? I'm shaking!

William: Can you get me a Big Mac?

Violette: WILLIAM!!!

William: Can I get a Big Mac?

Bill: Yes, I need one too. I actually need two of them.

William: You better buy me one.

Violette: You guys are worried about Big Macs right now!?

To be continued...